Hero
by Charisma Phantom
Summary: Just how much of a hero is Harry really?  Just how much can he take before it all gets to be too much


**Title** Hero  
**Author** Charisma Phantom  
**Word Count** 2047  
**Rating** T  
**Warning Character** Death. Angst  
**Type** Drama/Tragedy  
**Complete** Yes  
**Beta** no

What could he do? There was nothing to stop what was happening from happening, there was nothing he could have done different than what he had done. Placing himself back on the bed Harry Potter looked out the window his eyes unfocused as he thought about this and that.

It had been so long ago when he had been a young child, when had he grown up? It had to be around the time he was eleven after his first fight with the Dark Lord. After his first meeting with the man who had killed his parents. What would have happened if that had never been done. If Peter had never told where his mother and father and him had been hiding?

Would he know have brothers and sisters? Could he have changed his life from the drowning challenge that it had become over time as he had grown. Maybe he could have escaped the deaths that he had seen, things he had been apart of.

How could he have not known about the plots of the evil man, who was part of him? He should have been able to feel it as he lay in bed at night. Whatever the danger he should have kept his mind open, maybe then he could have saved. . .

No, he wasn't supposed to think like that anymore. He was happy now, and everything was changing and would be alright in the end. He had to believe that it would be alright. Everything would be perfect, everything was perfect.

There's a hero if you look inside your heart.  
You don't have to be afraid of what you are.  
There's an answer if you reach into your soul  
and the sorrow that you know will melt away.

_Looking in the mirror now he couldn't help but take off his glasses to watch the sharp features of his face turn into a massive blur of color. He felt as if his whole world had been spinning from the time he had left the muggle world that he had once been in. Nothing in that life seem to hold anything but weather of not he would make it to the next day._

_So much had changed and at the moment He didn't think he could stand it. If only he could be like Tonk, he could remove the marking, the brand from his head and change his hair and eyes and be free of everything. Get away from what everyone wanted him to do. He was the light of the world, and he was falling into darkness._

_How could a young boy have so much in the world to face? He had watched his fellow classmate die right before him. Had watched evil be reborn and someone be saved from death. He had almost died and saw his parents again._

_His body was shaking as the glasses slide form his hand and hit the floor. It didn't matter if they broke he would be able to fix them. Fix them as easily as Cedric had died._

_Placing his arms around himself he hugged himself hard as he leaned his head back against the bathroom wall closing his eyes as hard as he could. Trying to stop the shutters from running through hm._

_He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't. . ._

And then a hero comes along  
with the strength to carry on  
and you cast your fears aside  
and you know you can survive.

Harry smiled for a moment, at he thought of Ron and Hermione. They had been everything he could have ever asked for, so close like siblings, the best of friends. He remembered everything they had been through together.

From the first day on the train when Hermione had pressed her head into the train compartment to ask about Neville's frog and when Mrs. Weasley had helped him get on the train. When Ron asked if he was Harry Potter. It had been a long time ago when he had been awed and happy to say that he was the boy who everyone talked about.

He had felt odd of course, it would have been odd to be standing there in a new world and have everyone know what his name was. That he had gotten rid of for a time, Voldemort a vicious killer. He had still be willing to be Harry Potter. But that had all changed, now he would do almost anything to be someone else.

So, when you feel like hope is gone  
look inside you and be strong  
and you'll finally see the truth  
that a hero lies in you.

_How long had he been sitting in the house? He felt as if his soul was being pulled apart as he looked down at his hands. _Sirius. _The name pressed against his heart as he looked down into the mirror in his hands._

_He gripped the handle until his knuckles turned white from it, although he didn't much care as he felt the handle cutting into him. He could only look at the tear spattered glass and tell himself, will himself to stop with this sobbing._

_Sirius had been right in telling him to watch himself. Harry had been wrong in not doing just as he had been told. He felt such a need to end all of his, he could almost feel his family there watching him from across the small room he had placed himself in._

_What was the point though? He felt as if there was nothing left to go on for, he wasn't strong enough to keep this up. How many more would need to die before he could bring himself to do what he needed to do? It was as if he felt a push from somewhere and with eyes closed he thought of his mother and father. He thought of Cedric and Sirius, of all the unnamed faces of those yet to come and let out a small whimpering sob._

_He had to be strong. He couldn't let children grow up with the same feeling he had. He had to play the light, not matter what else he wanted to do._

It's a long road when you face the world alone.  
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.  
You can find love if you search within yourself  
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

And then a hero comes along  
with the strength to carry on  
and you cast your fears aside  
and you know you can survive.

How long had it been from the last time he went for a walk? How long since he had really used his legs? Had it been forever? Or had it been only an hour he was never sure. He knew that he didn't look at things like he used to. How could he?

Pressing his head back against the pillow, fingers laced together, his hand resting on his stomach Harry looked up at the ceiling of the room. He had to make plans and contact people. He had things to do. He was strong and he could put on a mask just as well as anyone. So what if he wasn't old enough in the beginning, to even do magic outside of school, he had been willing to fight and protect.

He wondered slightly what Hermione would say if she was with him this very moment. If she was laying next to him, and Ron was with them too. Would they laugh again and smile? Or was it too late for anything like that to happen.

Everything seemed to be working against their joy. It seemed to want evil to win against everything else, to change the rules of the game. So that Good was not the winner. Although, the game he was playing was much bigger than anyone really understood. He had never killed a person, didn't really want to harm anyone, to hear them scream out in pain and fear of him.

He hadn't wanted any of this, but it didn't matter he had still gotten it. He had lost his one guardian who had been leading him along the way. He had been taken from him and there was no way to get him back into this world. Just another person to add to his list. Would the list ever end? Would be every be able to stop seeing the faces?

It's a long road when you face the world alone.  
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.  
You can find love if you search within yourself  
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

And then a hero comes along  
with the strength to carry on  
and you cast your fears aside  
and you know you can survive.

_There was bodies everywhere on the ground, he wasn't sure he could even step anywhere and not be touching a corpus. There were sobs of people, of injured and the ones identifying the dead._

_How many had died today? One? Two? One thousand? It didn't seem to matter what the number was just the fact that the people would not be going on with life. Students who would never finish school, parents who had left children behind in the world. Young lovers pulled apart forever and unable to say the vows before they had been parted._

_There was blood, all over the place it seemed to splash the walls and puddle on the ground. There wasn't a place to be where the red body fluid wasn't. It was a horror movie, a nightmare that he was going to be waking up from any moment._

_Reaching his hand down he pulled over and pulled apart a young girl and boy who had been clinging to each other. His pants had been soaked in blood from kneeling next to people here and there, making sure that they had really died and not just been cursed._

_He felt his eyes water for a moment and the quill he had been holding fall to the puddle of blood with a soft inaudible sound. A silent scream tore out of his throat as he saw the two he had pulled apart. The girl had her eyes closed and her head had been pressed into the male's shoulder._

_The boy had, had his hand around the back of her head, his head resting atop of hers. They looked as if they had died right as they had embraced. The girl with brown hair matted with blood, the boy's red hair a beacon to his only living sibling, his only remaining family member. His sister._

And then a hero comes along  
with the strength to carry on  
and you cast your fears aside  
and you know you can survive.

He had promised himself that he wouldn't cry again, but it looked as if that was not going to happen. He could feel his throat closing off and his breathing become uneven. His heart was breaking and his head was spinning as he closed his eyes.

"Mr. Potter," The nurse's voice came to him as Harry opened his eyes to the all white room he had been in from the time he had found his friend's laying in a lasting embrace.

"Yes Ma 'am?" He asked his voice ruff from the lack of use. He had been in the mental section of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries and didn't like to see anyone much anymore, although Remus come down once and a while.

"Time for your potion, so you can get some sleep," She said in a kind voice watching the way his face twisted in pain and as tears continued down his cheeks. She wondered what went on in his mind to make him so trouble, what horrors had he seen.

Harry waited for a moment and took the potion before laying back and closing his eyes. He was still crying as he fell asleep, the list playing in his head until the potion kicked fully in.

Would the list never end. . .

So, when you feel like hope is gone  
look inside you and be strong  
and you'll finally see the truth  
that a hero lies in you.


End file.
